Marriage Counseling Cape Coral – Gift of Pain

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Marriage Counseling Cape Coral – Gift of Pain

Marriage Counseling Cape Coral – Gift of Pain

A number of years ago, note marriage counseling cape coral and bonita springs marriage counseling,  writer Philip Yancey and world renown surgeon, Dr. Paul Brand, co-authored a book entitled, “Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants.” For many readers, it transformed their view of pain from something to be abhorred to something to be valued. [Many marriage counselors, says marriage counseling cape coral, have also found this book to be very insightful for their own work].

Here’s an example of why, says marriage counseling cape coral.  Dr. Brand worked with leprosy patients in India and America for a good portion of his adult life. Leprosy (Hansen’s disease), it turns out, represents an attack on the nervous system. Pain that would otherwise warn individuals that they are hurting themselves is not felt at all in the affected areas. A child may learn by experience that to put one’s hand on a hot stove is painful. Not so with people inflicted with leprosy.

In poorer regions of the world, rats eat fingers and toes while a person remains asleep. Hands burn against oil lamps leading to third degree burns without the knowledge of the person because there is no pain. In more modern areas, bones in the hand may break simply by tightening a loose bolt on a car engine with no realization of the fact, leading to more severe problems. If only there was the feeling of pain to grab these individual’s attention and tell them that their body is in danger before they suffer even worse harm!

In an attempt to combat this disease, says fort myers marriage counseling and marriage counseling cape coral, Dr. Brand and his team of specialists received a grant from the U.S. government. Their goal was to create an artificial warning system to take the place of pain. Audible signals, blinking lights, and the like were tried, but to no avail. Unlike natural body pain that does not go away until treated, leprosy patients would either ignore the painless signals or turn them off (to the patient’s own detriment). After five years of work, thousands of man-hours, and millions of dollars spent, the project was abandoned. Though nobody wants it, pain is God’s gift that helps keep us safe from further injury and illness. Pain compels us to take corrective action.

Ongoing, unresolved conflict within a marriage should be viewed in the same way, says marriage counseling cape coral.  So does naples marriage counseling.  The emotional pain that results from not getting along grabs our full attention. We feel sad, angry, fearful, discouraged, etc. But the silver lining is that our emotional distress also provides the impetus for us to do something about it. Some individuals try to dull the pain of a difficult relationship with drugs, alcohol, or other self-destructive pursuits. Masking the pain provides only temporary relief while the relationship deteriorates even further. Others prematurely bail out of the marriage in order to avoid dealing with problems altogether. A much better choice is to effectively remove the root causes of the pain and then promote relational healing.


If you are looking for a cutting-edge alternative to traditional marriage counseling, then Dr. Newberger can help. His SWFL office is centrally located in Estero FL (just south of Fort Myers and Cape Coral, just north of Naples and Bonita Springs). To learn more, go to Then call him directly at 239-689-4266 for a free telephone consultation to confidentially discuss your situation. Use the pain you are experiencing in your relationship as incentive to take corrective action that leads to peace.

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