Marriage Counseling Cape Coral – Safety Behaviors (Part 2 of 2)

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Marriage Counseling Cape Coral – Safety Behaviors (Part 2 of 2)

Exaggerated  concerns with one’s emotional safety can be exhausting.  The also applies to husbands and wives in marriage, says both marriage counseling cape coral and marriage counseling fort myers fl.  The following chart provides a summary of this discussion.

Consequences
Early experience Belief Safety behavior Short term Long term Unintended
Humiliated at school about appearance If people see my armpits they will think I am disgusting and reject me Keep arms at my sides Reduction in anxiety because no one can see my armpits No opportunities to learn that most people don’t even notice sweat Keeping arms at my sides makes armpits sweat even more
Physically assaulted by a group of men while walking home People are dangerous, if I make eye contact I will be attacked Avert my eyes to avoid eye contact Feel slightly safer when around people Fail to learn that eye contact does not generally lead to being attacked People think that I am odd
Many experiences of unwanted attention by men, and an experience of sexual assault The attacks were my fault, if I don’t look conventionally attractive then I won’t get attacked again Overeat, pay less attention to my appearance Overeat, pay less attention to my appearance No opportunities to learn that attacks were not my fault, and that not all unwanted attention is a precursor to an attack Unconventional appearance may lead to more unwanted attention

What is the Difference Between a Safety Behavior and Adaptive Behavior, Including In Marriage?

marriage counseling cape coral agrees, just by looking at the behavior itself, there is no way of telling the difference between an unhelpful safety behavior and a helpful adaptive behavior.  It is the intention which matters – safety behaviors are those which are intended to avert a feared catastrophe.  For example, if the strategy of distraction is used to cope with a painful experience (e.g. a visit to the dentist) we say it is helpful.  However, if distraction is used with the intention of preventing a catastrophe (e.g. to avoid a feeling of panic that I fear will make me go mad) then it can be viewed as an unhelpful safety behavior.

[This concludes this article presented in two parts].

Marriage counseling cape coral suggests that on a personal level and within your own marriage, if you are dealing with emotional safety issues in your marital relationship, feel free to contact Dr. Ken Newberger, Ph.D., Conflict Analysis and Resolution.  He serves clients in Southwest FL (SWFL) specifically, Cape Coral, Naples, Bonita Springs, Fort Myers, and Estero FL.  Review the outline of his process that is an effective alternative to traditional marriage counseling. Visit www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com, or feel free to call him directly to have a conversation about your particular marriage problems.

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