Marriage Counselors – Love and Marriage

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Marriage Counselors – Love and Marriage

Marriage Counselors:  Love and Marriage

Fort Myers Beach Marriage Counselors will tell you that one reason divorce is so common today is that a couple has “grown apart.”  Indeed, many people believe that love is something that one falls in and out of.  Such a concept, according to many Bonita Springs Marriage Counselors, “makes us think of an emotional yo-yo.”  Up, then down.  Down, then up.  That is, falling in love one day.  Falling out of love the next.  Married one year.  Divorced the next.

The following story supports the reality that love is not so transient.  It is more like a staircase suggest Cape Coral Marriage Counselors.  It is something that is built one step at a time that brings the couple to a higher place, together, and then grounds them again.  If you feel your marriage is finished because you have “fallen out of love,” consider this couple’s experience. (Names and minor details have been changed).

Two decades ago, Mary Evans was 22 years old and a senior at college.  Her steady boyfriend, Walter, had decided to break off their relationship. He was getting anxious about the prospects of deepening the relationship and getting married. He decided he needed a break to think things through.   Mary was heartbroken.

During their separation, Mary had a brief fling with a man named Frank.  After a couple of months, Walter, with whom Mary was still deeply in love, decided he wanted to get back together with Mary.  After a long conversation, they did just that.  They even became engaged.

But then, unexpectedly, Mary found out she was pregnant.  Walter was not the father of the child.  Frank was.  Though abortion was legal at that time, it was not an option Mary would  consider.  This then was her predicament.  She was engaged to one man but had gotten pregnant by another.  What should she do?  For the sake of the baby, she decided to leave Walter and marry the man with whom she was not in love with, Frank.

At first, report Fort Myers Marriage Counselors, Mary hated being married to Frank.  She constantly thought about calling it quits.  It was a marriage not initially built on love, but obligation, remarks marriage counseling Cape Coral FL.  On the other hand, Mary did acknowledge, “ Frank was wonderful.  He was great and he stuck by me,” Mary recalled, “I tried to leave, but I couldn’t.”  “Now,” many years later, Mary says, “I love my husband more every day I spend with him.  We have a situation that grew from respect to an intense love, an inseparable love… That is what real love does.   It becomes stronger over time.”  This love is further evidenced by their three children, 17, 14, and 10 years of age, at the time they shared their story.

Joy, a friend of Mary’s, whose own marriage ended in divorce, reflected, “What Mary did, she made a choice, and then she struggled… She felt trapped, but when she chose to love her husband and make the best of it, she ended up with one of the better husbands in Iowa.   The neat part of the story is that two people choose to do the right thing.  And then they watched God honor that decision.”

Describing the evolution of their marriage, Frank said, “I really question how many people actually have what we know today as true love when they start a marriage. Love comes out of respect as well.”  When he was himself wrestling with the decision whether or not to get married to Mary, some friends told him to take a shot at it.  They added, “you can always get a divorce.”  At that advice, Frank shook his head no.  “That is not the way I was brought up.  When you make a decision to get married, that is it.”

The moral of this story, says Estero FL Marriage Counselors as well as Naples Marriage Counselors is that whether you are beginning you marriage, or trying to repair your floundering marriage, its success or failure is in your hands.  What you see throughout this story is a mutual commitment to make the relationship work.  True love is like a brick and mortar building, not like a sandcastle, here today, gone tomorrow.  In marriage, we do not fall in and out of love.  We build upon it each day by acts of kindness and respect.

If your marriage is in trouble, start building a more secure foundation by seeking the help of a knowledgeable professional, such as Dr. Ken Newberger, who holds a PhD in Conflict Analysis and Resolution from Nova Southeastern University.  He regularly works with couples who live in Lee and Collier counties, in Southwest Florida. is his website where you can view the outline of his process.  Especially if you live in Estero FL, Cape Coral, Naples Florida, Bonita Springs, Fort Myers, Ft Myers Beach, you are welcome to call him for a brief telephone consultation without charge.

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