Relationship Counseling: An Allegory (

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Relationship Counseling: An Allegory (

Relationship Counseling:  An Allegory (

Relationship counseling is both an art and a science.  Relationship Counseling Estero Florida and Naples Relationship Counseling FL tell the following story.  Many years ago, in the Negev desert, there lived an old Bedouin sheikh. When he became very sick, the sheik realized that he needed to make a will. The will included this provision pertaining to his three sons. “My oldest son shall inherit 1/2 of my camels. My middle son shall receive 1/3 of my camels. My youngest son shall get 1/9 of my camels. In the will, the sheik provided the rationale for this division. A short time later, he passed away. At the time of his death, the shriek possessed 17 camels.

Effective Alternative to Relationship Counseling for Naples Estero Cape Coral Fort Myers Bonita Springs Florida

The sons were happy to carry out their father’s wishes, just as he stated them, but had great difficulty doing so. How would they divide the 17 camels? They discussed the matter for a long time but reached no resolution. They went to a local judge for help. Perhaps an answer that would be satisfying to all could be found in the law. The judge suggested that the sons sell all camels and split the money. But the oldest son said, “Our father did not want us to sell the camels but keep them within the family. The judge then suggested that the sons rent out the camels and share in the profits according to the ratio their father had established. But the second son objected. “I am a merchant myself. I need my camels for my work.” The judge suggested additional alternatives but each were met with objections. The judge came to his wits end and said, “I cannot help you resolve your problem without causing more conflict between the three of you. Your answer for mutually satisfying and peaceful end cannot be found in the law.”

The three sons returned home and shared with their wives what had happened. That evening, as the three couples sat around a fire, the conversation became more agitated and tense. Voices were being raised and emotions were escalating. All of a sudden, the families heard a camel approaching their camp. As the rider came closer, they recognized him as one of the wise men of the region. In fact, married couples from all over the area would turn to him for marriage counseling to help heal their conflicted relationships. Some referred to him as a “mediator,” a skilled conflict resolution specialist who was transformed conflicted relationships into reconciled ones. The brothers decided to ask this man for help with their issue.

The visitor sat with the couples. After the situation was explained to him, he asked additional questions, to make sure he understood each person’s perspective.  He then withdrew to sit alone and think.  Relationship Counseling Fort Myers FL and Relationship Counseling Cape Coral FL point out that this kind of reflection is what many marriage counselors engage in.

After some time passed, the wise man returned to the group. He said he thought he had come up with a solution all the brothers could accept. He said, “to help resolve your issue, I will add my own camel to your father’s estate. This, in turn, will bring the total number of camels to 18. Then, in accordance with your father’s will, nine camels, that is half, shall go to the oldest son. Six camels, that is one-third, shall go to the middle son. Two camels, that is one-ninth, shall go to the youngest son.”  One of the sons exclaimed, “But wait!” 9 plus 6 plus 2 makes 17 camels.  That leaves one camel left over.”  The peacemaker said, “you are correct.  Therefore, I respectfully request that you give the camel I gave to you back to me in appreciation for my help.”

The sons enthusiastically endorsed the idea.  Then, they not only returned the camel back to the peacemaker, but loaded it up with valuable gifts.  This visitor did for them what the judge could not do and what they could not do for themselves: establish peace.

Such is the role of third-party peacemakers wherever you find them, note Relationship Counseling Ft Myers FL and Fort Myers Relationship Counseling.  This includes “far-away” places as Southwest Florida (SWFL) and the cities of Naples FL, Fort Myers, Bonita Springs, Estero, Ft Myers Beach, and Cape Coral FL.

If you need help with your marriage, Dr. Ken Newberger, who holds a Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis and Resolution, offers a cutting edge alternative to traditional counseling says Relationship Counseling Bonita Springs FL. View his website at

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