Make the Most of Seeing a Marriage Counselor

Get the Most Out of Seeing
a Marriage Counselor

Cut to the Chase by
Handing Your Counselor Your
Thoughts and Feelings
"on a Silver Platter"

Two Reasons Why Marriage Counseling Fails

1. The Therapist is Not Committed to Saving Your Marriage

☛ "People who seek help from marriage counselors usually assume that the goal of therapy is saving the marriage. Unfortunately, most marital therapists are specifically trained to be non-directive or neutral. They see themselves as someone couples can talk to, but not someone who will coach them into changes that will ultimately save their marriage." Clinical psychologist, Willard F. Harley, Jr.

☛ "In a national survey of over 1,000 marriage and family therapists, over 60 percent indicated that they are 'neutral' on marriage versus divorce for their clients. Only one third said: 'I am committed to preserving marriage and avoiding divorce whenever possible.'" Marriage Friendly Therapists website.

☛ Take the case of Stephanie and Max. They were seeking help to heal their relationship. Stephanie revealed, "We were looking for someone to work with us on a specific plan for our marriage. Instead, we got a totally neutral counselor who didn't seem to care whether or not our marriage survived. We weren't neutral about wanting to save our marriage, he was." In the end, they divorced.

2. Underlying Issues Take a Long Time to be Uncovered, If Uncovered at All

Marriage counseling appointments typically last 50 minutes per session. At this pace, it can take a long time for the therapist to figure out the real basis of your problems. Should an assessment be made prematurely based on an incomplete picture, it may not only be wrong, but it may make matters worse. Hope regarding the counseling process turns into hopelessness.

☛ "Many therapists... unable to help angry couples get to the root [emphasis added] of their conflict and forge a resolution... do one of two things: they either let the partners take turns talking week after week, with no end to the therapy in sight, or they give up on the couple and, in effect, steer them to divorce."

Two Ways to Increase Counseling Success

1. Find the RIGHT Person to Help You

☛ "Too many therapists inadvertently help people out of their marriages... Put a great deal of effort into finding a therapist who will support both you and your marriage." Michael Weiner-Davis

Click Here to find a marriage counselor committed to repairing your relationship in your area.

2. CUT to the CHASE

Don't waste time or money. Accurately identify your underlying issues at the beginning of your counseling process with the Conflict Analysis Tool.

My name is Dr. Ken Newberger, Ph.D., Conflict Analysis & Resolution, still happily married after almost 50 years. I am the developer of the Conflict Analysis Tool. I have successfully used it with over a thousand clients. I am now making it publicly available to couples who want to proactively participate in their own healing.

Part 1: Answer the Questions

You and your spouse will separately answer questions in the CAT that span 18 marriage-related categories that, like an X-ray, peer deeply into your relationship to see what's really going on between you. Upon completion, you will each receive your own report.

Part 2: Hand Your Counselor Your Thoughts & Feelings on a Silver Platter

When both of your results are subsequently sent to your marriage counselor, they will provide him or her instant access to a gold mine of information that would otherwise take months of weekly sessions to unearth. It is like handing your therapist your deep-seated thoughts and feelings on a silver platter at the beginning of the process. This can save you both time and money while you zero in on what really matters.

Part 3: Repair Your Relationship

Within your report, you will find the Conflict Analysis Tool's free Accompanying Guide for home use. The Guide is a substantial resource that can supplement any materials or exercises your marriage counselor may give you. In other words, while you need the skills of a third-party professional to help you resolve your issues, additional resources are provided to promote relationship-building activities you can do on your own.

The Guide Contains:

• Exercises to build-up your marriage

illus.: gestures of love and affection

• Illustrations, including links to YouTube

jumping to conclusions

• Insights about relationships

illus.: when marriage causes pain

• Questions for discussion

Be Proactive to Get the Most Out of Seeing a Marriage Counselor!

Frequently Asked Questions

Typically, within 10 minutes by email after you answer all the questions.

There is a way to safeguard what you wrote so that only you have access to it. You can use a private email service such as Proton Mail. It's free and takes less than 2 minutes to sign up. The report will be sent to this new email address where you alone can log in and access it.

Typically, 1.5 to 3.5 hours, depending on how much you write. You do not have to finish it in one sitting. Save it and return to it later. Types of questions include: true & false, multiple choice, short answer, and some longer answer.

Additional Questions? Call 703-483-0031

REGARDING YOUR COUNSELOR

The Combined Report

After you have each received your individual reports, and upon your request, your marriage counselor (with his or her assent) will be emailed a "combined report." Your responses are printed on the same page side by side. This is extremely useful. Your therapist will be able to see both of your answers to the same questions at the same time.

Unlike your individual report, merging two reports into one is not an automatic process. It has to be done manually. Turnaround time: 2-3 business days.

Recommendation

I encourage each of you to schedule an individual meeting with your counselor after he or she receives your Combined Report. This will allow you to privately review key areas of what you wrote before your joint sessions resume.

Free to Your Counselor

If your therapist has a question about the CAT, they can call me and ask it without charge.

Order the
Conflict Analysis Tool

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to the Terms and Conditions

and Privacy Policy that govern the use

of the Conflict Analysis Tool & Guide.

Make the Most Out of Your Marriage Counseling Sessions

Be Proactive to

Get the Most Out of Seeing

a Marriage Counselor

Order Your Conflict Analysis
Tool & Free Guide Today!
or
bookmark this page
for future reference

What Dr. Newberger's
In-Office Clients Have Said

These couples took the Conflict Analysis Tool
at the beginning of their reconciliation
process and found success!

We are doing great, better than ever. I am so grateful, and I hope to never step back into that dark place again. Thank you for helping us see each other, and realize what we had.

We continue to heal. We feel you helped us to clean out the wounds and deal with past hurts and present challenges. You made me confront things and answer hard questions that I avoided for years. Your coming along side us was a Godsend. Thank you so much.

I want to thank you for everything you have done. I appreciate the homework!! It really does help us.

I have been meaning to send you an email for quite some time. My wife and I are doing fantastic. I want to thank you for all your help. Without your guidance, I'm certain we would have had a very different outcome in our marriage.

Dr. Ken is very thorough and insightful! Initially, he provided a very detailed survey in order to gain an overall understanding of our backgrounds, personality and previous concerns. He provides insight & recommendations in a caring yet straight forward manner as well as very detailed action plans for improvement.

Every day is not perfect but everyday is turning into a good day and the relationship with my husband gets better. . . Thank you Dr. Ken.

Order Your Conflict Analysis
Tool & Free Guide Today!
or
bookmark this page
for future reference

Question? Call 703-483-0031
or email
Dr.Newberger@MarriageCounselingAlt.com

Get the Most Out of Seeing a Marriage Counselor

Cut to the Chase by Handing Your Counselor Your Thoughts and Feelings "on a Silver Platter"