Prepare-Enrich Assessment Tool


Are You a Conflicted or Devitalized Couple?

Prepare/Enrich (P/E) is an extraordinary tool, utilized by over 5 million couples, that is designed to help them gain clarity regarding their relationship. It shows each mate's perspective at that point in time.  The results can stimulate increased communicathat provides couples a clear picture of their relationship.tion and understanding between spouses. One couple reflected, “After 10 years of marriage, this assessment helped us reconnect and appreciate each other more. It was exactly what we needed to reignite our relationship."

Note: Although many couples have used P/E as part of their Christian marriage counseling journey, the tool is suitable for individuals of all faiths as well as those who do not subscribe to any faith. The tool automatically adjusts its questions to reflect who you are as a couple in this and other categories.

In Which Category Are You?

One of Prepare/Enrich’s unique features is how it categorizes a couple’s relationship.  Measured against a pool of 500,000 couples, couples will be identified as belonging to one of the following five groups.

  • Vitalized couples:  These couples are typically the most satisfied with their relationship, skilled in communication and conflict resolution.
  • Harmonious couples:  These couples also enjoy high levels of satisfaction across most areas of their relationship.
  • Conventional couples:  These couples are often highly committed to one another, but not as skilled in communication or conflict resolution.
  • Conflicted couples:  These couples have a lower level of satisfaction and often struggle with many areas of their relationship.
  • Devitalized couples:  These couples have the lowest level of satisfaction and need to grow in almost all aspects of their relationship.
It is important to note that the P/E tool is not designed to resolve a couple's issues when they are conflicted or devitalized.  The P/E itself states that it is "NOT a replacement for professional relationship counseling” (emphasis theirs).  Meaning:  When there are recurring or deep-seated problems, the couple should not delay seeking professional help. Clergy, unless they have received specialized training, are usually not equipped to effectively assist such couples.

But Beware!

Not all marriage counselors are committed to your reconciliation.  Based on his research, sociologist Dr. James D. Wright concluded, “the counseling profession too frequently tries to help their clients through divorce rather than help them repair their marriages.”

Clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley, Jr. noted, “People who seek help from marriage counselors usually assume that the goal of therapy is saving the marriage.  Unfortunately, most marital therapists are specifically trained to be non-directive or neutral.  They see themselves as someone couples can talk to, but not someone who will coach them into changes that will ultimately save their marriage.”

To Illustrate:

One spouse recalled, “We were looking for someone to work with us on a specific plan for our marriage.  Instead, we got a totally neutral counselor who didn’t seem to care whether or not our marriage survived.  We weren’t neutral about wanting to save our marriage—he was.”

Also, consider the case where both the husband and wife wanted to work things out.  But after seven months of weekly sessions, the counselor told them that they needed to divorce.  The wife reacted, “It seems odd that a marriage counselor/therapist would give [such advice] and encourage divorce when we have 16 years of history and 2 children together.” Apparently, he reached the end of his rope before they reached the end of theirs.

Marriage counselor and infidelity expert, Dr. Shirley Glass, wrote, “If your therapist just sits back and watches your exchanges without providing any structure or direction, it may be time for a change.”

Author and marriage counselor Michele Weiner-Davis similarly advised, “Put a great deal of effort into finding a therapist who will support both you and your marriage.”

I Am Dedicated to Repairing Your Marriage

Over 90% of the married couples I work with are devitalized.  Some are conflicted.  Once in a blue moon, conventional.  The only time I see harmonious or vitalized is with pre-marital couples. Whatever your category I am committed to repairing and rebuilding your relationship.

Call me, free of charge, at 703-483-0031 to briefly discuss your situation and your relationship goals.  Be sure to first review the process I use to guide couples.

Bio in Brief

My name is Dr. Ken Newberger. I hold a Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis & Resolution. I have been happily married for 50 years, have served as a P/E facilitator since 1988, and bring years of experience helping couples in all stages of life. Learn more about my background and qualifications by clicking here.

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For a related discussion, view the Escalating Stages of Marital Conflict by clicking here.